POWPOW™

MYlife: Thanksgiving

2009-12-01T11:52:00.000-08:00

My dad always makes us say something at Thanksgiving dinner about what were grateful for and why. We didnt' get to this year and I'm not entirely sure why but I missed it so I'll just put it here where no one but me reads it anyways.

Fall has come and gone in a blaze. One day at the Wolf Den it snowed and the heavy blanket forced every single leaf on the tree in the front yard to fall off it was kinda awesome I walked out side to watch them falling rapidly all around and Jacek our polish neighbor was outside with his young daughter walking through the fallen leaves.

Just reminded me of my own childhood growing up and jumping in neighbors leaf piles and dressing in army fatigues and playing G.I.Joe all day long till the dark finally crept up and someone's mom would make them go home for dinner all red nosed and pissed they couldn't play any longer.

It reminded me then of the friends I have now and how completely incredible the friends I have are. They are the best friends I have ever had in this lifetime. I feel really lucky to know each of them.

The podcast is growing every week and were up to Episode 29 currently. We don't really know how many people (if anyone but us) really listens to it or enjoys it but its a labor of love and we all really like doing it and just getting to dude it up. I'm super grateful for the guys and all they do for it. It really is a great way to spend every thursday and I look forward to it every single time. This really ties in pretty closely with the first one so I'm just re-iterating how awesome my friends are.

Mostly I'm also incredibly glad I've gotten the chance to know her and really grateful for all she has taught me about myself and being an adult in such a tiny amount of time. Thanks. I needed that.

MYlife: winner winner chicken dinner

2009-10-27T11:56:00.001-07:00

I won the T-shirt contest over at Dr. Volts! Free comics on me! Exciting! Thanks to Dr. Volts!

MYlife: ZomieLIFE

2009-10-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

Ally had a birthday. We got ugly.

PHOTOS BY: henny

Mylife: texting

2009-10-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe the best texts I've ever gotten.

from S: I'm always with you..
from me: Wait?! What!! Where?!?
from S: Im in your trunk... Totally kidding baby, bad joke!

I however thought it was awesome.

MYlife: in photographic reverse order.

2009-10-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

Oct 1rst: It got cold out I get to bust out the shemagh I am ready for our islamic overlords. Seeing as how the hooded sweatshirt is my favorite article of clothing I'm in seventh heaven about now.

Sept 28: Brother and Sweet sister Kelli hosted a dinner party of no where near epic proportions and it was amazing. Especially for being entirely vegetarian.

Impressive by my standards anyways. Always a good time when tobias is around. The little girls and Travis kept me company along with these louts. Travis was suspended from school the next day for fighting. Well fighting back. Seriously? A kid protects himself and you kick him out? Nice work.

Sept 25: Friday played us as hosts at the Wolf Den to the Drinking Debacle. It kind of was a Debacle because we wanted to play Mario Kart and Mario Party but we didnt have Mario Kart and Mario Party ended up being entirely too confusing for us to figure out at that point so we ended up heading to GoliMar despite the face our house was already overrun with alcohol of every variety.

See told you. We had tons. We even made hop skip. Jared got a facefull of vodka and now doesnt' have to shave for a week. 30 beers, 4 limeaids, 4 lemonades, and a handle of vodka (minus whatever jared got hit with) and we had a very sticky kitchen floor to show for it is all.

Earlier friday night the whole fam showed up to help support Sweet Sister Amy's Style Wars contest entry as well as just get the hell out of the house for a bit. I really liked her entry by far and away the easiest on the eyes and my favorite even without knowing who had done it.

Judges must have felt the same damn way cause she won the whole thing. Grats sweet sister! Jonas photobombs the whole place. Kelli and Tobias always look lovely and I must add sweet sister in law Rachel looks better every time I see her! Andrew... well hes cute... I guess in a creepy way. And of course the queen herself now rules with her new YUDU.

Sept 23: We knocked out a window in the Wolf Den to make room for the new set of french doors to go in their place. It was kinda a spur of the moment (jared) thing to do but he got the doors for free and decided it must be done immediately. I like his approach to stuff. Get a hammer and just rip it out we can putty it later.

As we pulled up the tile on the outside of the house it was lined with newspaper from 1903 the house is over 100 years old kind of insane. It was actually built in 1901 so the back half we were tearing apart was from an additional work done 2 years later. The stories in the paper were kinda nutty we tried to keep the paper as best as we could but it just crumbled if you even breathed on it.

This little monster however wouldn't even budge if a whirlwind came through town we found him as well behind some of the outside tiles on the wall. An impressive specimen about the size of a quarter and really really creepy. Gah.... Not a fan but he made it out all in one piece, same as everyone else.

MURDERcycle: broken tail light = pig problems

2009-09-22T08:50:00.001-07:00

So a busted tail light equals a ticket driving out to Salt Lake at 2 A.M. on a friday night. Then speeding in a construction zone on the way home in the Neon equals another ticker. Two in one night. Awesome. This is the cops shining the light in my car. They don't think its funny when you ask them if you show them your boobs can you get out of it.

Honestly though it was worth it a thousand times over, thanks to the lady of ladies.

Pretty good weekend all in all Earle Ladies are the hostess with the mostess in my honest opinion. A rather enjoyable evening out and about the town with seven ladies and a few young gentlemen I couldn't do without. You can view the whole set here if were dudes if were not why are you reading this blog? Creepy. Go away.

Oh and Jonas got his bike blowing up. Its dudical. Apparently it was only running on one cylinder the entire time he's had the thing now its running like a raped ape. It can also apparently accomodate up to seven people.

MURDERcycle: The pack gets bigger.

2009-09-16T08:06:00.001-07:00

Congrats to the Nasty clan they have a new addition in the driveway. So Jonasty is the newest member in the Team Wolf lineup to the chopper squad. The Mayo man himself and his lady the hun make this motorbike almost look cute in the picture to the right but don't be fooled Jonas's new 5 hundy is a blue beast.

Thats right 5hundy. I know the pic says 4fiddy but there's be a bit of an U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D there and the double D is for dopeness.

Blasting down the streets is pretty choice I have to say. If you have the means (and I'm pretty sure you do brian and tim) I highly recommend picking one up.

T.W.M.C. I like it. It's got a nice ring to it. Team Wolf Motorcycle Club Balls yes. We need jackets, we need patches, we need commemorative t-shirts. Hmmm. Maybe we should just ride around a bit.

Oh and on a personal note: I have a hot new girlfriend.

English Language sucks

2009-09-15T08:34:00.001-07:00

So the word "wind" as in "wind" your watch or wind your lights around the tree is spelled the same as the "wind" like blows in the wind? Tornado and hurricane strength winds ripped through a town today. Wait if I read that wrong its "winding" up a town? It must really suck to learn english.
I'm sure other languages are fraught with the same woe's (I learned woe just recently thanks to Hennefer) as english but they seem to be pretty common in english is all how is one to tell which wind (as in watch winding) is wind (as in the blowing of the wind)?

How about this one wound (as in wound lights around the tree) is the same as wound (as in I just went to World War 2 and all I got was this sucking chest wound) How the crap does that work? Who did this honestly? Is there no one we can speak to about this I really feel this should be addressed at some point I know there are much more pressing issues going on in the world at this point but this sucks. Immigrants must hate us.

MURDERcycle: even old ladies approve.

2009-09-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

So there was a fair bit of discussion done by my family about how much of an idiot I am at my grandpas 82nd birthday yesterday. Not that its any different from any family gathering but the new subject of their disapproval was the loud and obnoxious mishmash of a motorcycle now in my parents driveway. My step-grandma even tried it on for size much to the amazement of the entire family. I have to say she doesn't look all that awkward on it at all its almost fitting.

Now baby brother Brian on the other hand looks like the badass biker from bombay! Fits like a glove on him I think. His wifey says he can get one if he gets a helmet for it but I don't think he ever will cause he has such pretty hair and stuff but I could be wrong he's a good man and we had a dinner or two just the two of us this weekend while his wife was out of town that was pretty awesome I dont get to hang out with him near as much as I did before he was married but its good to see he's nothing but better because of it in every way. Plus I got an awesome sister outta the deal and they got a dope dog.

I also got to hang out with the Wilkinson clan (well most of them) up in Lava hot springs and do some river running on tubes. I had apparently missed the wet tee shirt contest the night before but that didn't stop me from putting in an admission of my own and dunking myself down a few times my very first run on the river and lost my glasses rendering myself blind for the remainder of the weekend. I managed to have one helluva time despite it and got a sunburn, assorted abrasions, and a new set of broken sunglasses out of the deal. I think I really came out way ahead too. Good weekend to enjoy no labor.

MURDERcycle: knockin yer pants off.

2009-09-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

So just a quick follow up to my last post. I ran our of gas now (twice) and have nearly lit my own leg on fire once (Baggy pants + Hot pipes = lesson learned). So far pretty good track record.

It doesn't matter that its burning my pants because Im doing a pretty good job of filling my pants with excited dumps every time I get on the thing.

Sorry for the visual, it's just that fun.

MURDERcycle

2009-08-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

Well thats what my mom calls 'em. Murdercycle's I wasn't ever supposed to have one but she helped me co-sign on my very first one. I sold it a few years later. I instantly wanted another one the second I'd sold it. Well, That day came and went and so did a few more years. But, Redemtion is at hand. I've been looking at bikes for years now and couldn't imagine I'd ever find what I was looking for so I had thought I'd make one myself.

My boy Jared's been helping me to peep the classifieds on KSL and Craigslist. I'd found a few I'd really liked but they weren't exactly what I'd wanted but then this little number popped up and I couldn't believe my eyes.It was bigger than what I'd really wanted but can I complain? Apparently I can. I won't continue to though. I'm as happy as a clam. And damn neaer as smelly now too.

If you have the means I highly recommend picking one up. Especially since you can join my motorcycle possee.

I is has moved.

2009-08-27T16:31:00.001-07:00

I is not in my parents basement no mo.

I get to live with cool dudes.
The Rod.
Tim Wolf.
Sidenheimer.

No not imaginary comic book characters these are real people and they are awes. The room is awesome the Wolf Den is banging plus by proxy I get a new dog little miss fancy pants. She's a delightful little destructor. Plus she's better behaved than that little twit olive but not as fat and bossy as guiness. Still ten times ten in the awesome factor. I couldn't ask for better peeps.

Starcraft party all night sleep all day.

Zombie Walk 2009

2009-08-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

No big deal just out for a jaunt about town and some brains. Check it.

Loathing of cats.

2009-08-03T08:19:00.001-07:00

My disdain for cats coupled with my love for Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia have spiritually prompted me to share with you the following perfectly arranged video featuring my most hated and most loved subjects.

September just can't come any quicker for me.

Warriors on the news!

2009-08-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Turns out our "Promotion" of the podcast in San Diego paid off... well a little bit anyways still a rousing success if you ask me. I'm hoping to track down the video in the next couple of days and post it here or on the warriors site.

Promoting the Podcast... sure.

2009-07-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

So me jones, henny and sean leslie the men, the myth, the retards over at wednesday warriors went down to San Diego ComiCon over the week. Sean's friend Trevor stayed with us too dude is awesome. I have to say it was a ball smashing good time. Even though we weren't really all that well liked down there...

I still spent a bunch of money and attempted to get back in touch with friends from the area but to no avail. Schedules and parties didn't permit as much. Someday soon though.

I did get to see some cardboard cutouts of some very famous people and I even attempted to meet a few of my all time favorite actors boy it was a dream come true I tell you what.

Henny got some good feedback about his portfolio, Jonas got told by some Suicide Girls he stank, I hopefully got a little bit of the word out about the podcast, and sean.... well that kid just was an unstoppable signature psycho.

He got some sick sketches we will post on the warrior site here in a bit (so did the other dudes too). All in all a massive success and all we did was go to the show and back to the hotel every night to sleep. Just a non-stop nerd marathon. We also came up with an idea for a comic book called second wave his power was originally going to be he could induce explosive diahrehha in anyone and leave them like weak and sweaty after a huge mud blow, But ... y'know it got lamer from there. You'll have to read it for yourself.

WoW you meant so much to me.

2009-07-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

So many of you know Im an avid WoW player. What? C'mon you knew? If you didn't you probably dont actually know me and are a Nigerian trying to scam me for my money. Well all I have to say to you sir is good day.

Anywho I write this with a grieving heart and a huge attitude of thankfulness to a video game. I've spent an unholy and retarded amount of time playing a stupid video game that quite honestly saved my life.

Well WoW and my brother. and Jonas. and Matt. and Vomitron. Well whatever. Playing with these guys and having Family home evenings on monday nights just playing the game and questing or trying to help Jonas get some stupid achievement or Matt get some stupid shoulders for his stupid level 10 twink with only 2 points of armor would probably not be most peoples idea of a life worth saving. But I honestly write this right now with tears in my eyes because I'm glad it saved mine.

Going through a divorce and losing a job and dealing with the falling apart of a life is difficult and being able to be the worst kind of nerd playing video games in your parents basement night after night is one of the biggest reasons I didnt go completely apeshit and off myself.

Thats why I'm eternally grateful to Turdzilla. (she was called turdgargler but someone got offended and I had to change it.)

Yea I know. I'm an Idiot. Yes I know I'm a complete total waste of space. But Turd made me feel like I could be something else. I was someone else when me and Turd rolled around on her fiery dreadstead for the first time, We were flying on that netherdrakes back through Netherstorm together, We did beat the crap out of 30,000 other people in player vs player combat. We beat them all together and I loved every minute of it because it wasn't just me. It was me and turd. I could go off listing countless achievements endless victories all the sweet gear I won but I'll spare you the nerdy details.

My imaginary alter persona a gnome warlock and a pet minion. I'm not sure what that says about my psyche the fact Im a gnome girl magician in an alternate fantasy universe. I'm pretty sure that makes me at the very least a man of questionable methods. Hell the fact Im writing this should make you question my very sanity. But I just wanted to give a shout out to Turd one last time. Thanks for all the honor kills.

I'm glad I could experience all that. Im glad that I could be rational enough now to put it all away and try to have a real life once again, now that I'm ready to be in the real world again. I know I didn't actually achieve anything by getting her to level 80 or the 7 other characters I got there or close to it as well but, I'm just glad I was there for the journey. Big ups to my man Xyralian, Paladummy, Sapo, Canchita, Wreckingball, Nedexes, TobiasFunke and a big kiss to my sweet sweet prince Vomitron.

You really helped me out when I needed it most by showing me a world I always knew existed, but knew never really did. I dont know if I'll ever play the game again honestly its crack it ruins peoples lives probably more often than it helps but in this case... I'm so glad it was there.

LETTERpressed prints

2009-07-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

So even though it was a few years ago now I just barely notice that Peder athenaeum press put up some prints we had done back in the day along with a few of the other dudes from Struck kinda cool to see how cool the letterpress is.

Check out the dude Dan from Robots and Angels print and Dave Habben's as well as Peders completely radical selection of other letterpress prints high quality pressed paper quality goodness.

Check em out. - http://www.athenaeumpress.com/ only $30 a pop not to shabby.

Who knew the 5th was actually more fun

2009-07-06T07:38:00.001-07:00

So some podcasting, followed by some napping and some group iPhone time. Then quickly followed up by the Buzz game, 7 dollar burritos, Ice Cream in tiny plastic hats, a broken bat, about 75 dodged baseballs one beaned old lady and fireworks all adds up to one hell of a good day after a fourth of july.

New Job, New ways to be nerdier

2009-07-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

I gotta new job. I make less than I did when I started designing but damnnit I gotta job. So whatever. Its gee dub's fault. I like it so far its mellow I get to work Tim hours so it ain't all bad right? Anyways just thought I'd astound you with the tedium that is my everyday that I seem to never be able to get enough of.

Oh also I would beg of you if you like comic books even a little (or have an idea that one day you might) check out our podcast its good times!

Illustrator is awesome. But so bloody tedious. How does that make it so fun?

Its the same thing over and over again. Draw it up.Scan that crap in.

Trace that ishnit up.Slap it on some crap.

Its so mindnumbingly boring your brain just shuts down I love it. I can't understand why I keep gettin so excited to come into work to do it all over again day after day, But hey I got a job. One that I like. Shit could be worse. Plus I get friday off suckers.

2009-04-06T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here's what I think is awesome about my life right now. So take a gander at the scribbled on piece of paper to most casual onlookers it doesn't make much sense or bear any real importance but if you get in there really close this is the stuff nerd wet dreams are made of. It's 100% unadulterated geek porn guaranteed to bring about an arousal of the deepest carnal rumblings of anyone familiar with the nerdcore lifestyle.

What this is my dear reader is a not just a simple scorecard, but a measure of a man. Just because Jared and Sean came up short in this match doesn't make them any less manly.
It just makes Jonas and I more manly. They just simply came up short this time. They caught up the next match though and creamed us in a spectacular fashion. That's the nature of the game no one ever loses all the time and when you do I don't think less of you. How is it this scribbled piece of paper represents so much to a few of us?

I don't really know the answer to that for sure but, I sure am glad that for a couple hours a night a week the numbers on that shitty piece of paper show my numbers go up while my opponents dwindle and my manly rep gains two points in the dude faction.

Now I'm by no means a Craig Jones (nor do I have his clear grasp of amazing fashion sense) but maybe someday people will chant OMG OMG LIGHTNING HELIX! even if its just the wolf den black ops squad dudes.

The dead sucked anyway why defend them?

2009-03-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

Three words "Blow me Hennefer"

Yes that springs to mind when perusing the latest nonsensical babblings of a clearly deranged man. In the most recent assault upon logic my dear friend Sean has deemed it necessary to attempt to bring light to where clearly none lives. Sean's favorite character in one of both of our favorite comic book titles of yesteryear titled "The New Mutants" was the weakest link in the mutant chain. Doug Ramsey.

While I admit I don't openly loathe Doug as he and his cyborg buddy Warlock provided that much needed comic relief that every title needs the comic buffoon with a lame power that couldn't possibly benefit anyone in any given situation unless the writers made some gargantuan effort in order to include him which of course they managed to do. I mean hell they are comic writers they are paid to make the boring seem somehow exciting and they blow it pretty regularly but somehow Sean managed to connect on a maybe openly homosexual level with the young strapping man who could translate any language though his "powerful" mutant gift of Omnilingual Translation. Talk about a snooze fest.

I just fail to see the draw here. He's C-list material here these are super heroes were talking about not guys who are really good at math. Because he can translate some ancient alien writings which allows the rest of the team to learn about some ancient alien ritual that saves the planet earth through the use of their real super powers just doesn't put him at the top of the list for me.

Supporting roles are there for
A: laughs
B: cannon fodder for whichever alien race comes to town.
They might as well have slapped a red shirt on him and teleported him in first to every battle.

I for one applaud the writers for removing one more half assed idea from comics from all time. I hope they kill off a c-lister every single month from now on Marvel could go on for years and not even feel a dent. Any writer with any sense would leave the dead and buried where they belong and let rayne cry herself to sleep every night. Now that's drama.

Although Sean and Jonas couldn't be more right about this book.

Thanks boys for helping me to remember why I loved and hated this all so much. Your a dear man friends and I love you. Not as a woman loves a man but as a dear man friend loves another. And while I hate to speak so harshly to you it must be said.

MYlife: State of my hair

2007-07-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Ok just so you'll maybe continue to read I'll no longer bore you with updates about my hair....AFTER this one. So last state of my hair adress ever.

So our apartment has an undersized air conditioning unit which in short means it blows. Poorly and inefficiently and our apartment is the same temperature as satans anus. Not an awesome place to visit let alone live. Especially with any manner of long hair. So I took it for as long as I could and when 11 o'clock hit I could take it no longer and just took it all off.

I did manage to get that sweet 80's waver hair do I always wanted in junior high that dear old mom never let me have. She did do steps for me on the sides of my head which was pretty fashion forward and might I add wickedly awesome of her.

I had to empty the sink twice there was so much hair in there. I have been gifted with good thick lustrous pantene hair so sue me.

Hmmm not really enough....I'll just keep going

Ok now we have a winner! Champion of all things short of hair.

MYlife: I love potter.

2007-05-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

Just like every sunday Postsecret is updated and I can always relate to something posted on there in one way or another but this spoke particularly loud to me today and just knew it had to have been posted by a mormon. Then I found this one below it and found I couldn't really relate so much.

I'm not a practicing member of the church but I'm grateful for my upbringing in it and the definitive sense of morality and right and wrong I was raised with. I'd just like to publicly thank my parents for raising me in the church and even though I'm not still practicing I'm thankful for all the opportunities it afforded me and the knowledge that hitting Donald Sandberg in the face with a baseball bat in fifth grade would have been wrong. I'm sure Donald would like to thank you too. Even though I did beat him up with my fists instead.

Other peoples babies

2007-04-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

Other people's babies are awesome. My cousin Rachel and her husband Rett recently returned rearing young. I'm a big fan of this new addition to their family. She is lovely and smells like love muffins. I want to bake her to spread the smell throughout the house but I fear that would be frowned upon.

None the less I could only find one defect with her and that is her extra finger on her left hand I don't want to call a lot of attention to it because the parents are good friends (family in fact) and still haven't seemed to pick up on it. And even though its one day later I'd still like to take the opportunity to say april fools. Hah. Your baby is beautiful and even wiping her bum was a priveledge and a blessing. The lack of sleep is worth it I promise.

One of the raddest thing about other peoples babies is you get to compare them with your own and see how they match up. Theirs is small and diminutive in comparison my baby could probably crush their baby in a fight but wouldn't do it because she's been trained to only use her powers for good.

But the best thing is giving it back when your arms get tired.

MYlife: state of my hair

2007-03-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

I did the thing I swore I would never do and let my doo get "Mulletrocious". Please someone shave me or point me in the direction of a legitimate sytlist. Amen.

MYlife: PROBEjob?

2007-03-03T06:35:00.000-08:00

So possible worst day ever yesterday logged. Not only was the sweetest ever 1995 Ford Probe stolen from my apartment complex first thing yesterday morning I also managed to do some pretty sizable damage to a co-workers car trying to enter into my brothers borrowed car. So kudos to you thief of the finest barely working, most amazingly body shopped, baldest tire having, unregistered vehicle on the planet. You could have had the 2005 escalade or even the 1998 honda civic parked right next to me but your a man of discriminating tastes and only the finest will do for you. I applaud your savvy, but loathe your timing. I also managed to hit myself in the testicles opening my door to my apartment. When it rains it pours. Honestly it was pretty funny for a worst day ever.

Honestly I'm just glad it wasn't my bike.

missing you.

2007-03-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

The weight of your casket in my hands is nothing compared to the weight of your loss on my heart and mind. Until we meet again. M.A.C.

GEEK: BMX bikes RAD?

2007-02-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

Guess what $88 dollars at the WalMart on 13th south gets you? Balls yes thats right. Old Mc Pow pow rides again. I rode the thing home from WalMart just last night and it glides like a magic carpet (except for the jarring anus ramming you get from that rock hard seat that follows quickly after any sized bump).

Whats truly exceptional about this purchase is that its the last little bit of money I will spend on transportation for a while here. I recently aquired a trax pass and ride the train to work then pedal the remaining 10 blocks to work on my new singular transit system. I know I used to just walk across the street to work, at struck but yesterday was my first day at a new/old job at Design Of Today. Who I previously worked for approximately 4 years earlier. But I guess they didn't get enough of me yet over here so they called me back. Thanks to Danelle, Steve, Angie, Debbie, Matt, Kara and especially big gay Joe.

Besides the fact I now roll on twenty inch mag rims now I can't see how anyone could resist how radical I've become. My first bike was yellow and now I'm thrity my 4th BMX bike is also yellow. I've come full circle I guess. Not only at my job but also on my way to work. I will miss my short commute and all the sweet dudes at Struck (ya'lls makin me hahnee) but every day is a pretty big adventure now and I encounter the most amazing people known to mankind on that train so I hope I see some of you suckers in your cars and maybe you can watch me jump off a curb and pull some stylin' laybacks or wheelies. If anyone needs a ride I can pump you I have pegs.

GEEK: fun guns?

2007-02-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

Ok so its not a secret I'm obsessed with guns but not normal firearm type guns I don't own a legit handgun its mostly just paintball and airsoft guns. FUN GUNS. I think is a better title. I mean firearm sounds so... oppressive and the stigma attached with it is just not anything that sounds like a good time is going to follow. I was pretty pro gun but never really wanted to own one until a recent trip skeet shooting showed me that blowing stuff up on a regular basis was a damn good time.

So back to the airsoft FUN GUN action. Thanks to the prodding of a good friend I decided to invest in one back in cali which quickly led to me buying five more. I sold all of them when I moved back to utah but bought one promptly when cash came about for it. I've been going out with a local fireforce of dudes and attacking each other on a semi weekly basis ever since. I'm leaning heavilly towards the AK variety of the line this time. These little full scale versions shoot up to 400fps (I've seen them shooting 600) and evacuate about 10 to 13 bb's per second. Needless to say you kind of need to keep them under wraps when hauling them around.

Having recently lost my iPod I've found myself in a quandry as to whether or not I should spend saved funds there or on yet another gun but after the promptings of a holy spirit I've also recently gone through another small arms deal and acquired another weapon that george will never find. It has yet to arrive but I'm anxious to shoot homeless wanderers that stray into my apartment complex with it. Or maybe just my brother. Whatever I'll take what I can get.

They are powered by rechargeable batteries so the best part is they aren't like paintball markers which require large bulky air systems to power them. Since the 6mm bb is much smaller than the .68 caliber paintball they are also have a lot smaller loading devices or magazines. As many as 600 bb's can fit into a single high capacity magazine. And the best part is you can carry as many magazines out there as you can carry. So poor shooting is not only widely encouraged its also fun. Go out and buy three today. Make me jealous I dare you.

MYlife: wishlist

2006-12-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm makin it easy for you suckers. Especially me mom's and dad's they like it straight and simple so I'm putting out a list.

• For starters its at the top of my list every year and its obligitory that I throw it in there with absolutely no hesitation. I'd like to be able to storm the streets of salt lake on my very own murdercycle once again. I'd really like something in the 600 displacement range anything above that would just go to my head and I'm afraid I'd really hurt someone. I'm leaning towards the 600f4i. If you guys could make that happen that would be great. Here are some specs and pics so you can check it out for yourself see what a great investment this is for your child's future.

• I need a comb. Seriously brian has one and I have to use his its purple. Its nice but I just don't know if its hygenic the two of us with as much hair as we have sharing a comb plus he's probably pissed I use it all the time. I know it doesn't look like I use one ever but hey my hair gets tangly and stuff... I swear I never pooped on your toothbrush brother.

• New sheets. Mine I bought are white. I have stated it previously I am not a smart man don't buy white sheets it seemed like a good idea but they always look gross. And that makes me feel gross. I hear dark is bad too whats a boy in a man's body to do?

• From what all the kids are saying out on the streets these days pants are always in this time of year. I have three pair I would like more. I also hear 32's are a good waist size to have which is of course also what i sport. I'm always so hip and fashionable. I also can rock a size Large on any robot hate tee shirts my sweet sister decides to toss out. If you don't have one you should buy one immediately fortunately for me I have the hook up so wear it! Ha.

• Peace on earth. Get to it when you can Bruce. I know your busy but you can make it happen.

• Harry Potter #7 tentatively titled The year Harry and John rule the school with the Weasly's and kicked the crap out of Voldemorts heinous anus.

• This book

• Oh hey this one looks good too buy me as well.

• Ladainian Tomlinson Chargers Jersey. And or assorted Chargers paraphanalia (i.e. puffy fingers, season tickets, baseball hats with lightning bolt logos emblazoned across the front that sort of thing) number 21 helped lead the Chargers to a 10 and 2 season and the AFC West Division Championship. Oh and did I mention managed to break nearly every league record along the way? Plus I hear he's a good christian boy and he seems like an all round champ this is the kind of sports hero kids should look up to. a chargers tee shirt is good enough the jersey's are like butt expensive...

My dad keeps asking me what happened to me? Why do all of the sudden I like sports so much a devout lifetime hater of all team type things but I think watching this guy and Antonio Gates crush people on the regular has made it easy to like it. Plus watching igor olshansky Punch people in the head makes it really fun too.

• Zagnuts. Its not only the candybar that Beetlejuice tempts flies down to their demise its also the single greatest candybar ever constructed. Trust me this is a dude with 24 teeth and 36 cavities. I have experience in these things I know whats up I've been around the block and this is where its at. Buy it here in boxes of 24 for only 12.92. Smokin hot deal kids. Buy two at least. Three if you really like me.

Ralphies Revenge

2006-12-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

I never even sensed a sinister bone in ralphies body the entire time I witnessed the single greatest holiday movie of all time. My parents made me and my poor siblings watch the albert finney version of scrooge every year to shock us into being more delightful and generous, giving citizens it didn't really pan out but if I'd even just seen the trailer to this movie I'd have been good all year long thats for dang sure.

Scary Mary

2006-12-06T14:04:00.000-08:00

I like mary poppins but I like this mary poppins one helluva lot more. I grew up loving all the og disney stuff and I still rent it for my kids every time we pop into 3D video in bountiful. (its the only place to rent besides blockbuster which I despise) I always had a feeling these movies had a creepy undertone to them but this really makes it seem like my unfounded childhood fears are quite real. It makes me want to see more of the dark side of disney.

ARTfag: fashion show

2006-11-27T09:11:00.000-08:00

My sister works and sews clothing for a local fashion designer Jared Gold and his store here in salt lake called the Black Chandelier. I really quite rather enjoyed it. The front rows were reserved for employees and their families. All the fashionista nazis' sitting behind us griping that we were obviously unqualified to occupy the front row of this all to sheek fashion event.

I'm pretty sure Mr. Gold's grandparents were also occupying some of the front row on the other side of us.
I have to think anyone who lets their grandparents occupy the front row of your fashion show where you could easily be swayed by the fashion police had to be a pretty good guy. Kudos to you Jared Gold not only for employing my sweet talented sister but also for putting your grandpa in the front row of your all too above my head fashion show.

We were even offered golden tickets to the all too exclusive after party. I declined but my brother and sister assure me it was also quite the endeavour. Its so awesome to attend stuff like this get the vip treatment when you know damn well your not one of those that really should have been there in the first place. Also very cool to see such great work coming out of Salt Lake. Very impressed overall.

Especially with the dudes (or dudettes) who dressed themselves up for the show with such gusto they almost made the show seem not as important...

Sorry for the all camera photo action it was all I had.

ARTfag: 1st commercial shoot.

2006-11-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

So last night was my very first opportunity to attend the shooting of a commercial. Our newly mega-merged company Struck is now video capable in the gnarliest of ways. I was totally unaware of the whole process and it was a really cool chance to get to go check it out. We are shooting an ad for the Utah Travel Council it should be pretty radical.

A thumbs up from Babcock while rocking the resvoir tip. It should be worn proudly.


          Babco™ demonstrates CondorMan has a massive set of mammaries.



Impressive looking camera equipment in the Salt Lake City International airport at 3 a.m. always fun



Rollback, review can we get craft services up in this peice? I learned that those little red cheese's got a wax coating on them that you gotta peel back thanks to peder.

          The shoot took up most of the terminal and all of the baggage claim and this was the slow night. Jason the president at struck told me the raddest story about every 15 year olds dream come true about a bevvy of naked women and a boy scout troop.



          Steve also is a highly ineffective cat burgler for obvious reasons.


      Bunch of dudes around a monitor telling boob stories and trying to fart on each others legs is a spectacularly good time. Unless you get sharted on.

GEEK: losers

2006-10-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

DO NOT ATTEMPT. THESE ARE TRAINED PROFESSIONALS WHO WILL FOREVER BEAR THE SCARS OF THE ATTEMPTS TO LAUNCH FROM WINDOWS.

Oh yea and the strokes are amazing. Just dont go expecting to have socks on when you leave.

GEEK: Cellular Devices

2006-08-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

Ok So I'm a pretty poor excuse for being a member of the human race. I have for the last 4 years avoided owning a cell phone and I've really enjoyed my life without one but all the while have had a huge amount of techno envy ever since the RAZOR phone dropped out into the market. A co-worker at my last job bought one in Hong Kong about 5 months before I ever saw anything about them here in the states (poor sucker dropped a huge pile of coin on it too).

Recently I've been forced to communicate with some clients at odd hours and work in places more random than my usual two spots home and or office so its become necessary that I finally obtain one. Seeing as how most cell phone providers require credit checks and urine samples and since I have a hard time producing good results with either I decided to go with Cricket as a provider as they required neither and didn't even ask for a testicle in exchange. They were out of Razors at the store I went to (which just goes to show their popularity) and I figured all the better as I chose another model produced by Kyocera called the Candid. Not nearly as cool a name as the RAZOR but still my techno envy was satisfied with a camera, blinking lights, homo-erotic ring tones and all the necessary attachments.

On my third day of owning aforementioned Cricket phone I was playing soccer in the courtyard of my office today with my daughter Madison and she kicked the ball into a small gathering pool that collects water from a fountain in the courtyard (Its really a spectacular spot you should check it out one of these days its pictured here don't mind the dude in the shirt that STRUCK did the logo for but check out the sweet water falling action in the background {that shirt can be bought at BIGcartel.com if you are interested in the shirt}) anyways I leaned over to pick up the ball and heard a small SPLOOSH! and quickly realized my newly acquired phone had fallen into the lovely reflecting pond. I quickly tried to snatch the phone out of the water and touched dark filth at the bottom of the pond and grasped my phone, yanked it from the depths and watched as it proceeded to expound vast quantities of gunk, mire and water from its innards.

Awesome. The light on the front panel was still on while it was pouring out water I shook it off and tried to dry it off as quickly as possible. Its now nearly four hours later and there is just a little condensation on the inside screen and a few tiny water droplets but its functioning perfectly. What a workhorse. A+ in my book I was sure I was going to be another class C grade human being citizen for a while but Kyocera is a clear winner in the technology/beat the crap out of your stuff race.

I'm a firm believer in ruining things I really love. I have also in recent times flushed the head of my beloved norelco gel excreting electric razor down the toilet while tinkling and watched it flush away with my excess liquid waste not wanting to reach into my own excrement and to prove I clearly like destroying things. My next big purchase will be a firearm of some manner with which I hope to destroy lots of my favorite things.

GEEK: poor url choices

2006-08-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

• On a side note the single funniest TV show ever made comment on this same subject in a much more amazing fashion HERE

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP solutions, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site www.speedofart.com

GEEK: Chinese engrish

2006-08-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

OK, ok, ok, the Japanese aren't the only ones who struggle with English. I'm sure the Thai have a dickens of a time at it as well at it as I've only seen Taiwanese writing once in a Japanese class I took and it looked ridiculously scrawly and impossible to master. I'm not sure why the Chinese are having such a tough time though. Chinese is easy only 100,000 plus kanji symbols to their language compared to our lousy 26 letters this should be a breeze. But its not. You can view the handiwork here and be... well not really amazed but humored at the very least.

My favorite is the no spitting sign as I've seen recently in the Hong Kong Disneyland its getting gnarly over there because of all the Chinese and Vietnamese spitters. (see problems near the bottom)

JAPAN: engrish

2006-08-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

It's not a secret I love the japanese. I'm a huge fan look at any one of my 10 posts and you'll see I'm a huge fan I study the language and its definitly really really hard to master so I can't blame these guys for this stuff but I can't stop laughing either. I'm sorry nishihara chihiro san I'm just a racist bigot and everyone else who looks at This flikr set is a racist as well and will probably burn in hell. We can carpool I have a minivan it'll be fun. Go ahead click it hitler its going to make your day. Also if you haven't seen ENGRISH.com you should hustle over there as well and poke some more fun of our well meaning asian friends.

MYlife: My brother the rockstar PART DEUX.

2006-08-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

As promised in the epic telling of my blog part 1 (found here) heres the final video. Complete with amazing special effects and all. It was only a good 3 month wait but your patient I'm sure, plus there are only 3 people reading this so that really helps I'm sure.

Its also come to my attention that the guy who plays the superhero in my brother's video is also featured on a show on the SciFi channel called Who wants to be a superhero. His alter ego on the show Major Victory is apparently lactose intolerant and deaf in his left ear so if you ever have the need to battle him you can use those against him. I'd kick him in the nuts if I were you. Although Brian swears hes a super (no pun intended ahaha so effing lame) cool guy and was awesome throughout the two day shoot. Its interesting his cotstume has little to no changes from the video.

So is this Major Victory's first epic appearance? Will this clip be worth millions in the future? Probably not I have thousands of first issue comics and they all suck ass. But I like this one the most none the less. Here is a snippet of an interview about him on Dark Horse's web site.

What is it that sets you apart from your fellow superhero roommates?

My hair. It is big and streamlined for flying!

What was your greatest loss?

My greatest loss was under arm sweat. Under the right one to be exact.

Sounds like a cool enough guy I hope he wins. In the video my brother loses but I still think hes a winner too.

ARTfag: Sketches

2006-07-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ok well here are just a couple quick sketches I did for a podcast that a client of ours is doing. I just haven't gotten to draw a monster since ninth grade and I always thought how rad would it be to get to do this for a living. I only read like fantasy novels and played dungeons and dragons with my neighbors the bavela's down the street so it was an amazing time in my life and I reflect back on it fondly.

Most people talk crap on dudes who played dungeons and dragons but I turned out perfectly fine and I only own three firearms. So screw you neigh-sayers. I turned out ok and I get paid to draw hobgoblins and warty trolls, They are nothing mindblowing for sure, and they were supposed to be kind of cuddly cutesy mean evil monsters, but still its nice to know you accomplished something and you did something you wanted to do when you were 12 when in real life.

P.S. Happy birthday Heather (no middle name) Powell

GEEK: 30 year old things

2006-07-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

So apparently I'm not the only thing that turns 30 years old today (which incidentally adds up to 10,950 days, 262,800 hours, 15,768,000 minutes) but just by happenstance (or was is divine fate) The viking explorer landed on the faraway planet of mars as well on the same date 30 years ago. On July 20, 1976, the Viking 1 lander separated from the orbiter and touched down at Chryse Planitia.

Originally designed to function for 90 days, the Viking spacecraft continued collecting data for more than six years. The landers accumulated 4,500 up-close images of the Martian surface. The accompanying orbiters provided more than 50,000 images, mapping 97 percent of the planet.

I'm totally impressed by that as I haven't even mapped out 97 percent of my own body yet. I know there are parts yet unknown to me. Still pretty sweet I've made it as far as I have.

HERE are a bunch of other 30 year olds in case your interested or available (I'm not). It came up when I looked for things that turned 30 on my birthday and I just felt it was too good to share, You know this thing exists but dont really recognize it until you actually see it. Kind of like homosexuality or something imaginary like that.

GEEK: POWERing up my pod

2006-06-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

After a large bit of soul searching, pondering, some very heartfelt prayer and a brief consultation with my bishop I finally decided to upgrade to the video iPod. I'm not a man of monetary means so I was fortunate enough to be able to trade for my newfound love on a paintball message board. I played professional (whatever the crap that means) paintball for a while and worked for a paintball company so I've got a bit of stuff left over I dont really use (especially since I pretty much hate the sport now and dont really play anymore). If you have paintball crap your looking to get rid of I bet someone on here has got an Xbox for trade for it. You can find pretty much anything there its retarded. I'm thinking about picking up a laptop or something, these kids are ravenous for this junk.
Anyways back to the geekery. I got the 30 gig version which is plenty big for my meager music collection (especially since I dislike most music I have) and I really only keep about 4 gigs of japanese language lessons and about 15 gigs of work that I transport back and forth from home and I'm currently downloading the 3rd season of arrested development from iPodnova an amazing archive of ipod ready movies, tv, anime and music videos.
If I could send email and check the internet with this thing I would probably never set it down. I sincerely doubt it would hold up to being driven over with a go-Kart but hey thats the trade off you make y'know. It seems like a small trade-off to make.

MYLIFE: green thumb up my bum

2006-06-18T22:19:00.000-07:00

Just had to brag for a bit about my wicked sweet garden. We had a little couple of 10'X10' empty lots that were just gonna fill up with weed unless we did something with it so on a whim the old lady and I planted a few rows of random vegetables. Apparently your supposed to mark those rows with what goes where cause I have no idea what the hell is growing where. But I'm pretty sure this is some karn here on the left.

Now what I've got goin here on the right is one of my most exciting projects The pumpkin patch I cant wait to smash these S.O.B.s. on the eve of the hallow and rebuke the dark lord. Nothing says get thee hence satan like the thrashing of an obtuse orange vegtable. It is gonna be quite premiere to cut these bad boys up though I've been dousing the ever-living crap outta these things once a week with fertilizer and what not so hopefully the things just balloon like oprah.

Apparently my green thumb isn't just limited to the back yard 10' lots either I've been growing mad mushrooms on the side of my house. I keep daring my kids to eat one and I've been telling him they are the crazy hippy kind that make you hallucinate I think he's getting pumped about it. I'll keep you updated about if he comes in pretending to trip or if we need to make a visit to the emergency room for an all too common stomach pump.

And here as an added bonus is a shot of my Vietnamese neighbors backyard where I have obtained exclusive footage of a possible idol that is worshiped by them. I have noticed small animals from the neighborhood have been disappearing at an alarming rate and they are possibly being sacrificed in order to appease this horrible looking god of war and blood. Eww. So scary whats going on right in your own backyard.

JAPAN: no idea honestly.

2006-06-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

I would have to say one of the reasons I'm so fascinated with the Japanese is because the culture is so completely foreign to me I dont understand a damn thing they do. Mexicans like tortillas and manual labor, Germans I kinda get they like beer and short pants with suspenders, The Swiss like chocolate and clocks, even the polish they like sausage and snow I guess but what the crap the Japanese are thinking here I can't possibly fathom even in the slightest.

MY LIFE:1 month recap

2006-06-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ok as someone who shall remain unamed (AMBER WOLF her blog is chip monkey.net please post nagging comments on her page to update her shit.) reminded me I have a blog and should and used to make frequent updates to said blog. Meh. I thought I'd just recap the move and also make another quick state of the hair address.

We were able to pack most of the crap we owned into the truck and towed our car behind. Its a 12 hour plus drive going 45 miles the whole way, no big deal y'know. We lived with my parents for a few weeks and then moved into our new spot in the Centro-ville.
I quickly managed to crush my thumb under our couch trying to move it into the house and then the same night break my finger playing the notoriously know mormon church ball. Its vicious I'll tell you that much. It promptly swoll up to the size of a bavarian buttplug. It was so fat and stiff it nearly prevented me from clicking a mouse and I nearly had to file workers comp. I was concerned it was going to get fat enough I was gonna have to cut my wedding ring off. But its still broke and tender but I managed to keep my marital vows and ring intact.

My mullet is coming in quite sweetly. My wife is begging me for a haircut so its obviously working and I have yet to receive a death threat or be called "skater fag" once since I moved back and I've even seen a few people from my high school so I'm blending right in. I'm not going to refer to it as the mullet anymore its more like Utah camoflauge I fit right in these are my peoples. I am amongst my brethern once more its heartwarming.

My hair actually got a bit more length now the photo was taken on mothers day in our backyard so its a little dated now. Its long enough I've started to notice its there now its like a big lettuce flap on the back of my neck its pretty hot and sloppy but it's shielding my divinly white neck from the Sun's brutal rays. Its probably due for a trim but I'm hesitant to put my lucious locks into the hands of any old fartknocker at Fantastic Sams so I have to find me a sweet stylist.

As an added bonus I've included another shot of my backyard and my horseass of a brother riding my daughters bike around. The small house in the background is my daughters playhouse I can also sleep out there on nights when me and my old lady karate fight a little too hard and I have to sulk about my loss. So if your in the neighborhood drop by I'll make up a cozy tea cup for you.

MYLIFE: farewell

2006-04-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

Dear California,

Farewell forever. I have tried to make it work really I have I really do enjoy your fair to moderate climates, your lovely beaches (even though I rarely took advantage of them myself), I think I even came to love the hour commute to work every day and I liked the hour drive back even you have to admit to most people that's a complaint. I even moved here twice in an attempt to make it work but your skyrocket housing, expensive cheese, poor city planning and your inability to provide for my family have made me seek my fortune else where AGAIN. I've moved from my home state twice now. Blinded with the promise of more for my family and seemingly high pay scale but what you gave you so easily took away with your taxation and mello roos and your hidden fee agenda. I loathe what I once loved so much. But I dearly love the people that continue to live on in the fantasy they can find happiness along your ill designed freeway system. They are so wonderful and I give a huge shout out to my brodawgs and his cousins mike for helping us put all this crap in boxes and then lift it into this 29 foot monstrosity of a rental truck that once again cost me so dearly. To all the people I ever played paintball with mashed on a Mac with or farted in your general direction take care someone in Utah loves you. I vow to never return. I love you and I hate you at the same time. Goodbye.

JAPAN: mindblowing.

2006-03-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

A lot of my friends and co-workers are constantly commenting that I'm obsessed with the Japanese. And admittedly I'm a bit on their side. I mean after witnessing this mindblowing 30 seconds who wouldn't be? I'm pretty sure this is a commercial but wow. I can honestly say I'll buy whatever it is they are selling. Approaching advertising in a manner never before seen by mankind. I just have no idea what they are selling.

MYLIFE: my brother the rockstar

2006-03-10T15:34:00.000-08:00

My brother did a music video a while back with a friend from his other band American Luxury. The music is a big departure from the radiohead/coldplay vibe they were expounding. The music video is of the song "She Wont See Me" and it chronicles the misadventures of our hero (he's my 110 lbs soaking wet brother) a cameraman for a local news team and his plight to impress the female news anchor he works with. She is of course oblivious to him and is much more attracted to the much more manly and heroic type played by (the coolest part of the whole shoot my brother assures me) a very well typecast super swirl haircut guy. I really want to include the link to the video but I promised my brother I'd wait to show the whole clip when its finished as its still in production and the copy I've seen and taken a few screen shots from is still a rough draft. It was produced by a studio in LA called The BUZZ. An awesome little production studio that have done quite a few music videos and TV commercials. All very well done and if you get a sec check them out.
I thought it was very well produced and really liked it. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the retarded faces he pulls throughout the video. My favorites are documented here but there are quite a few more and felt like you should be able to experience them yourself when you see the full length video for yourself. A mega sweet two thumbs up from me and I'm not just saying that because he's my brother (or am I?) it was campy juicy-pop goodness at its finest and heartily recommend it.

JAPAN: fold your t-shatsu

2006-03-06T19:40:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how much I hate housework but my kids were taking their own shirts off to try this shit out. After about 15 tries they can do it pretty consistently. Gotta admire japanese ingenuity. Love me some tee shirt foldin!

JAPAN: haunted roller coasters

2006-02-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

I found this really amazing site that reminded me of Scooby Doo. I loved that cartoon when I was a kid (for some reason the live action failed to resonate with me) but I really liked the creepy feeling I got when Scooby and Shaggy got lost in some "Haunted" old mansion or amusement park. Which is really weird considering I hate horror / scary movies in general but I always thought how cool is that to get locked in an amusement park after its closed or after the place has shut down and these shots prove my theory. Abandoned amusement parks are the bombdiggibadouchka... Or at least pretty creepy and worth a gander Check it out. Especially creepy since they are in Japan and there is a lot of stuff just abandoned. Spooky. Woo.

KART/GEEK: indestructible iPod?

2006-02-21T20:35:00.000-08:00

I prepare a sweet "racetrack" (a mindblowing conglomeration of drum and bass, heavy metal and destruction) for my iPod every single week to rock out to while I race every Tuesday. On the very last hairpin on my first lap my iPod which was in the side pocket of my jacket rocketed out and I felt a slight bump as I charged ahead. I really only noticed it was missing when the music stopped and I realized what the slight bump was. I've had this iPod for years now, it is the very first generation and I have been wanting to upgrade for a long time now as I use it quite a bit. I shed a tear for it and decided to dedicate my victory to my now defunct iPod. As the race finished I went to retrieve what I was sure was a tattered carcass of my iPod. This thing had a couple little black tread marks across it and it was in PERFECT WORKING CONDITION. I listened to it the whole hour commute home. Effin sweet man. O.G. iPods forever.

MYLIFE: zombie crabs

2006-02-20T21:17:00.000-08:00

Not for the faint of heart. My kids found the zombified remains of their recently departed victim of a mexican hat dance. My wife says they are still close to our driveway and I'm afraid he will haunt my dreams for days to come. We should have just bought a damn Hamster (Thanks Gazard!) or something.

DESIGN: Mad photochopping

2006-02-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

Ok so I work with photoshop near 4 to 8 hours every single day for the last 9 or so years so it takes a bit to impress me but here's something I think really suprised me and I feel that every girl in america should see this site. Not just for the amazing work that these guys do but the amount of retouch work that "the beautiful people" need to have done to make them "acceptable" to the public. I mean I know these girls aren't ugly to begin with but the amount they chop out on some of these is unreal. FluidEffect does an amazing job at retouching and sometimes I would say negotiating photographs. The skinny girls aren't skinny enough. Butts are far to big these days and everyone (including Jessica Simpson) needs a photoshopped boob job. (My personal favorite is Paris and Nicole). Enjoy and I hope you feel better about yourself after having seen this one.

MYLIFE: exclusiveness?

2006-02-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

Although I'm a member of some fairly exclusive clubs and a member or some of the most private groups on the earth. I am a Mormon after all. I once had an offer of $500 to get someone into the San Diego Temple (the spaceship they called it) I'm also an eagle scout, I'm a member of AIGA and I've been a lifetime subscriber to National Geographic. I'm however the most proud of my new Costco membership and the sweet new photo that goes along with it. They don't let just anyone in there you know. You gotta be able to shell out $45 bucks to walk through the doors. Not an easy task but I'm finally one of the "IN" crowd.

MYLIFE: State of the Hair Address

2006-02-13T22:13:00.000-08:00

Those of you who don't know me I'll give you a little bit of background about myself I'm originally from Utah. I was raised LDS (mormon) and although I am one of the poorest examples of one you could come across I have up until the last few months maintained the surest tell tale sign that I am a Mormon. My missionary style haircut (me and my flowbee shown left).
Its a well known Mormon hairstylists secret (its not really a secret) and in fact you could request if you went into a barbers shop in Utah to "Give me the missionary!", While not recommended, (as we mormons do so tightly cling to our secrets) I think they would get the point. But I've had this haircut since I was old enough to have enough hair to have a missionary. And for the first time ever I've grown enough hair to develop "Flair Hair" as it has been deemed by my younger brother and I (Oddly enough he was a missionary I never was and he had flair hair way before I ever did). My Flair hair will be documented here but I've honestly decided its really just an excuse to have a raging Mullet of metal madness.
My best friend Matt Crane in high school had a wickedly sweet mullet back in the day that I've been incredibly jealous of ever since. I've never had the mulletitude enough to let one go for myself so for right now I'm aiming for the feathery lightness of Roy Focker (shown right) from the robotech anime series. Thereby killing two birds with one stone getting to match Matt wicked sweet coolness factor of 10.5 and getting to look like a saturday morning cartoon.

MYLIFE: Satan crushed by migrant workers

2006-02-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

On a sad note today and a followup to my previous posting. We had some guys cleaning up the spot where our recently released into the wild hermit crab (which I'm sure was possesed by a spirit of satan) and I can only imagine what happened next so I'll give you in my estimation what really happened.Click Here for an MP3 that you should play in the background while you read along. Just to help set the scene and to get a more realistic version in your mind of how things went down.

Worker#1 Hey man want to get some Cerveza after work yo?
Worker#2 Heck yes brodawgs!
Worker#1Ok well lets... EIIiiiiiiii!!! YI YIEEEEEE!! AY' Carumba Donde 'estas?
Worker#2Who cares man lets mexican hat dance on it!
Short stamping scene should continue until crab is smashed into little bits.

They then proceded to blow the remnants of our satanic crab down into the gutter with their leafblowers. While sad and not a fitting end to our crab I feel its good to know that the powers of satan can easily be dealt a crushing blow by the powers of the mexican hat dance. Amen.

KART: whoops

2006-02-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

Ok so maybe watching all these crash videos hasn't been the best thing for me cause wednesday I got into a bit of a fender bender myself. DAng! The worst part was the woman I hit was one of the mothers of the kids on my sons baseball team. I would have much rather hit a complete stranger.

I'm pretty sure that I put some of my sweet karting skills to the test here. I clipped the back of a minivan and it sent my car into a pretty crazy skid that could have easily turned into a spinout. And while going 60+ on the I-5 freeway in southern california morning traffic that might not be the best call. So I'd really highly recommend kart racing if for nothing more than the defensive driving skills you learn out on the track.

But I was really lucky I was able to control the skid really quickly and avoid hitting anyone else and more importantly avoid hitting the retaining wall as well. Definitly not the best bit of driving on my part in clipping the van but what followed was probably sheer magic.

GEEK: You know you wanna

2006-02-07T21:25:00.000-08:00

OK please tell me in between nearly choking to death from laughter when you heard about Role Playing for the first time or maybe it was after your first six hour Dungeons and Dragons session you actually wanted to be "Urag the Unstoppable". At least for like three minutes? Ok well if you ever did you should check out Darkon. Its a movie about LARPING or live action role playing. I was first introduced to this when a co-worker at my last job told me he went to the park last weekend to practice "jousting". "What the video game in the park?" "No dude like with sticks"...Excuse me? So while incredibly geeky and probably a little bit socially unacceptable its like a train wreck for me I just can't take my eyes off it.

GEEK: Telegrams? Holograms WTF?

2006-02-06T15:38:00.000-08:00

Today I came across two pretty apparent proof's that "the times the are a changin".
The first commemorates the last telegram sent by western union ever. Kinda crazy that our grandparents had to communicate that way. When I think of telegrams I think of all the poor widows during WWII that recieved a telegram saying their loved one would never come home.

And on the other hand I found this little doosy all the way from Russia. Apparently Invisibility Cloaks aren't too far away! I'd just have to say screw the telegrams. I'd way rather have an entire wardrobe of optical electronics that create an invisible camoflauge tank that transforms into a jet plane and a robot that I can pilot!

Technology rules!

PAINTBALL: Ollie lang rocks the shield

2006-02-06T10:28:00.000-08:00

Oliver Lang widely considered to be one of the greatest players in paintball has left his long time team Dynasty to rejoin the Los Angeles Ironmen and work at Dye.
Oliver played with the world champion Ironmen team of 2000 and then left to play with his friends on Dynasty to go on to become one of the winningest teams in paintball.

KART: I'm only here to see you wreck

2006-02-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

Just found an insane little compilation of crashes some supermoto but most of it is rally. Thought it was worth a look.

KART: Did you just pass me at 150mph?

2006-02-04T22:31:00.000-08:00

Ok so its not Karting and I don't know if you could call it technically skilled driving but its the gnarliest passing and driving I've ever seen. If your not familiar with the Gumball-3000 Rally its a 3000 mile cross europe race rally founded by Maximillion Cooper in '99. Cooper invites 50 of his most eccentric friends to drive around europe all day and party each night.
From Train robbers, F1 race champions and Rock stars its a who's who of kooks and more importantly hundreds of the sickest cars on the planet all racing around "Smokey & the Bandit" style around europe. Sounds real sick. Looks even sicker (a Koenigsegg CC is alleged to have reached 242mph in vegas)

"Its more like a rock'n roll tour than a rally" Autosport, May 1999

TV: Arrested not developing?

2006-02-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

This is the one an only post I'll ever make about Television because overall I despise network television and abhor all of the mindnumbingly assinine programming that has been put out over the last few years. Fox is one of the prime offenders in my book (Skating with the stars, The Bachelor, Who wants to marry a millionaire... need I go on?) but they have been one of the very few networks to take even fewer small risks. I can't imagine why they considered this a risk in the first place but, I've never enjoyed a show more than Arrested Development.

If you haven't yet had a chance to watch the show I highly recommend it to the highest degree. Either check out the Season 1 DVD at Netflix or you can Buy it at Amazon. or if your like me you can download the whole damn thing Here just to test it out of course and then go buy it.
For those of you that have check out The Balboa Observer Picayune the best fan site I've ever seen to anything. This thing is THE fan site of all fan sites. Images, quotes, sound clips and even a game for the die hard fans. Do it for yourself, Do it for your family, Just effing do it already or they are gonna cancel the show for good.

MYLIFE: Satanic Crabs

2006-02-04T08:01:00.000-08:00

I bought three hermit crabs for my kids since we can't have a legit pet in my house cause my landlord won't allow it. Just like any pet they were great for a total of thirty minutes after we got home then they just became completely ignored. I was the only one that fed them or even looked twice at them and that was only because I stared at them in disgust and despised them hoping each day they would die but for almost a year they clung to life despite me occasionally missing a feeding or a watering.

We then traveled to Utah for Christmas holiday to come back to TWO DEAD CRABS! YES! Finally the last one alive was also the biggest of the three so I just let it loose in the backyard to let him wander off to his own death. He stayed in the same spot in the backyard for about three days then I never saw him again hoping he was carried off by some wild animal.
Last night though, my daughter saw something piddling down the sidewalk after we pulled into the driveway. It was our stupid satanic hermit crab still alive bigger than ever and probably pissed as hell. Thirty Four days in the wild and he's just fine. Damn.

KART: Karting is Kool

2006-02-03T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ok so who knew it I'm a demon speed racer. Not only have I trounced my friend and co-worker Marlon 3 weeks continuously at the race track So I'm currently looking into sponsors for my new F1 career.

The images look kinda crappy but click for larger views that aren't as craptacular.

For the rest of the photos of me slaughtering Marlon, Mark and a Harvard graduate (Brian, Scott and Darren all killed me)>>> CLICK HERE

GEEK: Cause trucker hats are so sweet

2006-02-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

Ashton Kutcher gets all pissy because director won't let him wear red string symbolism of his fake religion HERE